The average american male - Page 5 -
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post #41 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 01:03 PM
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the tucker max website pretty much has all that you need.
his stories are really entertaining.
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post #42 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by #42
The quality of a book has nothing to do with 'huge words' or a lack thereof. Small words are good, when you actually SAY something.

Both Hemingway and Shakespeare were masters of small words. Mark Twain: "I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman, because I get the same money for cop."

Based on the excerpts this book seems like crap and is getting slagged off accordingly. It seems like empty headed drivel -- good to kill some time, but you get nothing out of it.

Three cheers for the continuing retardification of the English speaking world.
Plus juan...

People are slagging on the book 'cause it sounds like shit. That's all. You might as well call it "Lowest Common Denominator".

You like it because that's what you are...

the average American male...

the lowest common denominator.

Go pop your fucking collar elsewhere.
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post #43 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 01:42 PM
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^ nice post iv:xx

Originally Posted by trixr606
you certainly have an awful lot of courage to be bashing a book that you know little about, and never read..
eeeeeasy killer. I was criticizing the book, not your ability to read. Just like I said, from what I was able to read on amazon (3 chapters I think) the book is exactly what I said it was. If there's more to it, maybe amazon should put that in as a teaser.

Just because you're able to read at a higher level has NOTHING to do with the fact that this book is simply written at best. If you like the book, fine. but like I said, from what I'VE read, seems like a crap read. Also, like I said before, Tucker Max is MUCH more entartaining and a LOT of the same stuff you're talking about in this book. The author of Tucker Max's book is...Tucker Max.
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post #44 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 02:42 PM Thread Starter
It's like clockwork-
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Chapter Six
My Gay Buddy

I have one gay friend. His name's Carlos and I've known him since college. We each lunch together every Saturday at the California Pizza Kitchen in the Beverly Center.
It's just such a Saturday and i'm sittin on a bench outise CPK flipping through an LA Weekly waiting for Carlos to show up. This girl sits down next to me and I notice she's hot as fuck. I further notice that she's more than just hot as fuck. She has some quality that makes me think I could live with her. She smiles at me.
I say "how're you doing?"
I almost get in another sentence when Carlos shows up and says,
"So you raedy to have lunch with your favorite cocksucker?"
I want to explain to this girl that I'm not gay, that Carlos is just my gay friend, but she's already laughing and I notice that her tits are a little saggy. So I just get up and follow Carlos into CPK.
We sit down, order the same shit we always do, and carlos starts up a conversation that's pretty much identical to a million we've had before. He wants to be an agent, but not at paradigm, where he's currently an assistant. He always gets crushes on straight masculine guys. He's never going to find a *** who's masculine enough to satisfy him. And he rounds it out with some other shit about life not going the way he wants it to.
As the waiter walks away from the table after setting down our drink, the following conversation takes place:
Carlos says: "I'd like him to plow my ass like a cabbage field."
"Tell him that next time he comes over and see if it works."
"Hell, it wouldn't be the first time."
"What? You've just come out and told some guy that you want him to 'plow your ass' and then you go do it?"
"I don't fucking believe that."
"It's not the same as how you poor cunt-lickers have to deal with women. Think about it. If a woman came up to you and said she wanted to fuck your cock till it broke, you'd go home with her in a heartbeat, right?"
"But a woman would never be that honest and no guy can say anything even close to honest to a woman if he ever wants to get laid. But if you just get rid of all that woman shit, all you've got left is two guys who want to fuck and have no problem telling each other as much."
"So in a bar you just go up to a guy and say, 'Let's fuck.' and within fifteen minutes you're back at one of your places fucking?"
"Not exactly, This is where the whole woman thing has its benefits. Once you straight assholes know there's going to be fucking, there's never any question about who's fucking and who's getting fucked. With two *******, that's the only question. Usually before you even bring up the possibility of fucking, 'Are you a top or a bottom?'"
"What're you?"
"I'm bottom all the way."
"So you let guys fuck you in the ass?"
"I beg them to, it's the only way I can cum."
"So you don't ever actually put your dick in anything? You don't even like getting your dick sucked?"
"I tried it once, but couldn't finish. I suck dick and take it up the ass and that's all I do."
"You must be pretty popular."
"Please, ninety percent of the ******* on this planet are bottom boys and most of em' are far better looking than me."
"So most gay guys don't like to fuck, they want to be fucked?"
"Think about it, if we wanted to put our dicks in a hole, we could just get a girl. Speaking of, how're you and Casey doing?"
"Same old bullshit."
"Is that good or bad?"
"It's just. . . the same."
"I guess that's better than bad, is she still doing Groundlings?"
"You know, I met some guy at a party last week who said he was in Groundlings. I offered to suck his cock, but he was a complete bottom, too. That's usually how it works."
"So what happens with two bottoms?"
"The same thing that would happen if you met a girl who told you the only way she could get off was to strap on a dildo and fuck you in the ass and she would never suck your cock or let you fuck her . . . you never talk to each other again. Unless, of course, you're both drunk and horny and no other prospects are shaping up. Then you go home together, try to fuck each other with limp dicks, and then get out the dildos."
"So you use dildos on other guys instead of your own dicks?"
"I'm a fucking bottom, that's what i've been trying to tell you."
The waiter hears the last bit before he sets down our lunch. I think I see him flas Carlos a smile before leaving.
The rest of the lunch conversation is less interesting, mostly about Reese Witherspoon's movies and mostly coming from Carlos. When we get the fheck there's another piece of paper with it that carlos picks up, reads, and then shows me.
It reads, "I would love to plow your tight ass," followed by a number.

There's another random chapter.. It has a lot of a story line to it, but there's little exerpts here and there like that..

It isn't the experience of today that drives men mad. It is the remorse for something that happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may disclose

Originally Posted by JMan206
Whatever trix808, you would have to be an idiot confuse 6 with an 8
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post #45 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 03:13 PM
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wow. that story is amazing!

amazingly gay. thanks, but no thanks.
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post #46 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 03:31 PM
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Out of all the shit you could post Trix, you pick THAT chapter?

My thoughts are only further confirmed - This is DEFINITELY your kind of book!!!
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post #47 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 03:44 PM
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This novel will stand the test of time
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post #48 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-04-2008, 07:46 AM
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Gotta go with the "dark side" on this one, or at least that's how it's being treated. I personally have found all those exerpts pretty damn funny and entertaining, the gay friend one was hilarious.

IMO it's fairly comparable to Tucker Max. I used to read the stories on there, and I can't say they were any funnier or better than this book you're talking about. Actually the Tucker Max story about butt fucking and getting shit on was probably funnier, but the way the guy in this book seems less like he's trying to be funny and more like he's really just blatantly obscene and vocal about the thing's he's thinking almost makes him funnier. At times, reading Tucker Max, it seems like he's trying too hard to make it funny. Just my opinion, guess we all are entertained differently.

Either way, they both are written with the same style and ideas in mind, and they are both majorly embelished and exaggerations of possibly some form of truth. That's what makes it entertaining. Sadly or umm maybe fortunately, neither are true accounts of something that happened exactly as is written.

I may go check out that book though, not to buy, but hopefully they have it open already and I can just sit down and read it. Doubt a library would have it, but either way, the quotes I've seen have made me laugh.
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post #49 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-04-2008, 08:03 AM
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trix can only pretend he's not gay for so long.. I vote 2008 is the yr he finally gets it over with.. it all adds up...
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post #50 of 60 (permalink) Old 01-05-2008, 01:41 AM
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Whenever a new genre is created, people will be accused of copying.
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